January 7: The Thong Song

READER’S CHOICE

Suggested by: RedRocketDawg (Who, apparently, wishes to remain pseudonystic)

Song: “The Thong Song” by Sisqo

Listen to it here (as performed by Tracy Bonham)

The time: January 6, 2000

The place: A downtown hot spot

The event: A smooth pickup artist brought low

The drink dripped down his face, the slight burn of alcohol tickling his upper lip. He could hardly understand it. Things seemed to be going so well. She was just his type, giggly and short with bouncing dark hair. And he had worn his lucky shirt, which she specifically complimented. And there was flirtation. Oh goodness, was there flirtation! And then things got a little sexy. Not like desperate, don’t care who I go home with tonight sexy, but like maybe new relationship sexy.

So he used the line. He knew the song would be huge, but for now no one knew it. If she still remembered the line by the time the single hit, it would be like a little joke between them and if she didn’t, eh, who cares. It was a no-harm situation. It didn’t work though. The line, which should have been killer, just pissed her off. Hence the drink throwing. Which truth be told, struck him a bit melodramatic. This was not some hacky sitcom after all. So perhaps he was better off without a lady who would treat real life in such a way.

Still, it bothered him. After all, if Sisqo thought, “Dumps like a truck” was a compliment, it damn sure was a compliment.

“Aww, well,” he thought with a shrug, mopping his brow, “Unleash the Dragon is a better song anyway.” And certainly that was not a pickup line that could go awry.

And that is how do the Reader's Choice selections. Now that you see it in action, get in on it. Send me your suggestions for inspiration. Please?

So, what do you think? Enjoy it? If so, feel free to follow me on Twitter (@UnGajje) for various bon mots and links directing you to the newest updates on this site as well as my other various writing gigs (Marvel, Complaint of the Week at the Living Room Times, and New Paris Press, set to debut shortly although information may be available before then here). If not it was not so enjoyable for you, feel free to tell me that too. And still check me out at all those things above. One of them you are bound to like more.


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