CD Number: 24
Track Number 1
Song: “Good Morning” by West, Kanye from Graduation
(Picture taken from http://mnprairieroots.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/copy-of-swmn-027.jpg)
From the Journal of Guy Trevholm
May 17th
I have just the ranks of the Bachelored. I walked across the stage, snagged my diploma, and *poof* I am a college graduate.
And, I admit, I’m a little freaked.
It’s all the fault of this townie we ran into last night. And it’s all our fault that he said anything to us in the first place.
Chazz was drunk (surprise!) and in the mood for some attention (double surprise!) so he hopped up on the table and announced we were graduating tomorrow and drinks were on us. Most of the bar whooped and hollered congratulations but this one guy in the corner did not even acknowledge The Chazz Show.
That was bad enough. But then, he turned down the free drink. Chazz saw it, of course. He always is aware of any potential slight, no matter the size. And being Chazz, he couldn’t just ignore it. He started by mocking the guy from our side of the room, doing dumb impressions just loud enough to be heard. The guy just ignored it.
Now Chazz was pissed and he started to call him names, real loud-like. Just awful things. The rest of us were giggly at first, I admit, but we quickly stopped when we saw just how much Chazz was not in a joking mood. But still, the guy did not respond, did not even glance at us.
Chazz could not take this and stormed across the room. He grabbed the townie’s half filled beer and poured it all over the guy’s shoes, sneering something like, “You don’t want the drink I sent you, you don’t get to drink this one either.”
The bar went silent. The townie stood, shook off his boots, and calmly deliberately decked Chazz. Bam! Right in the jaw. Chazz fell like his legs had just disappeared. The townie dragged our in shock idiot friend back to our table and whispered in a gravelly voice, “You all think you’re special, flashing your money, bragging ‘bout your pieces of paper. But that’s your parents folks and that diploma…it’s just a piece of paper. I’ve seen all you entitled kids come and go and one thing’s always the same. You don’t learn anything up there on the hill save how to get drunk, how to get diseases from sex, and how to get jobs that don’t benefit anyone but yourselves. Thing is, the party don’t last forever. And I think I hear the end coming.”
We stood there stunned, too surprised to speak. He left and we hoisted up Chazz and followed suit a safe amount of time later. We laughed about it on the way home, called him a hick, jealous, stuff like that.
If I’m honest though, and if my friends are, I’m worried he’s right. I can’t change a tire or my oil, the only thing I know how to do around the house is pre-heat an oven and plunge a toilet. I’ve never paid rent or car insurance. College didn’t teach me any of that stuff.
What the hell am I going to do now?
Reach out and touch me at tim.g.stevens@gmail.com or @ungajje on the Twitter. Let me know what you love and what you hate. And please, do spread the word.
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